Maiden King

The Kentucky Derby is much more than just a horse race.

During the week leading up to the greatest two minutes in sports, the city of Louisville throws the Kentucky Derby Festival, which includes a hot air balloon race, a steam boat challenge, a marathon, fireworks and lots and lots of parties.

Every year these events bring out sports and entertainment celebrites to rock the Derby. Yes, the pretty people will soon descend on Louisville to give us their opinions on nothing we truly care about. But they are sure to look good doing it.

And for at least one day of the year — Derby Day at Churchill Downs — it will be difficult finding all those guys named Vinnie who usually populate racetracks, walking around with their racing forms rolled up in their back pockets. And those pudgy,  cigar chompers named Louie or Charlie will be replaced for the day by svelte Generation X’ers and Y’s wearing sports coats, designer sun glasses and plenty of hair gel.

And the women at the Derby — who in the past included Jessica Simpson, Heidi Montag, Holly Madison and Bo Derek — are sure to be dressed to the nines.

Anyway, these days celebs are being paid big bucks to host parties. Usually it’s popular party girls like Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and the like. They collect tens of thousands of dollars to show up, blow kisses to their admirers then sway to the music from behind the velvet VIP ropes. Sometimes they stay for an hour, and maybe even two if they’re really having fun.

That’s because fabulous people always have better places to go, so they can’t stay anywhere too long.

This year, TV’s Kim Kardashian is hosting the Derby Spectacular on May 1 at Glassworks in Louisville. If you want to go, tickets are $150, but to increase you chances of actually seeing Kim — and to avoid the line out front — you might want to consider peeling off a couple of hundred more for the $350 VIP status.

However, as a VIP you are important, but not quite that important. Because at Glassworks they have Ultra VIP. As an Ultra VIP, you pay $750, but get access to the first three floors, the rooftop and the Loft Blue celebrity lounge.

Yep, hanging out with fabulous people is expensive. And if you plan to go to Glassworks, my advice is not to buy too many drinks.

Because it’s tough to bet on the Kentucky Derby when your pockets are empty.